


aptitude of your heart

by jaeminim



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Multi, and the ones that aren't in chronological order but still contribute to the story line, chapters will be either rlly angsty, dreamies twt fic spin off most likely soon, i'll put trigger warnings in the notes for all chapters with triggers, intended lowercase before anyone yells at me, or rlly fluffy, some might be out of chronological order???, they'll probably have different types of titles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-04-17 12:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14189379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeminim/pseuds/jaeminim
Summary: taeil has a soft spot for taeyong and johnny but this doesn't mean that the two can go around 'adopting' every other kid with powers they find. as much as he loves his team, they're sometimes ( read: most of the time ) a royal pain in the ass, but he supposes he wouldn't have it any other way.or:nct is a group of superheroes that live in this huge building together ( bad idea, says taeil ) and they get into a lot of shenanigans.





	1. 0.0 ; introduction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [boybinary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boybinary/gifts), [sarangx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarangx/gifts), [unatonable](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unatonable/gifts), [charmikarma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmikarma/gifts), [Like_A_Circus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Like_A_Circus/gifts).



> SO THIS STARTED OFF AS A WAY FOR ME TO PROCRASTINATE STUDYING FOR BIOLOGY???????????  
> anyways much love to my sweethearts who helped me with this.
> 
> this is also dedicated to my baby, who sadly doesn't have an ao3 account.

 

  * **taeil**


  * chemistry



 

      * fun fact : he failed chem back in high school, badly
      * who needs a doctor when you have taeil
      * technically taeil _is_ a doctor but we’ll look over that one
      * took over his parents’ small company & expanded and now whoops he’s a multinational businessman? 
      * god knows what he’s doing tbh
      * all he knows is that it’s a chain of labs situated across the globe
      * and they make a hell load of deliveries
      * bacteria do multiply at a rapid pace
      * the whole group runs on the money from taeil’s, johnny’s, and taeyong’s business empires



 

  * **johnny**


  * tech



 

      * “johnny can you fix ( the tv, my phone, my speakers… )”
      * 10000x defences around HQs because despite being superheroes, they’re all kids
      * he has a soft spot for the dreamies
      * no matter how many times they manage to fuck up the little devices he makes for them
      * owns a tech corporate that started off as a branch of taeil’s company?
      * he has no idea how that happened but
      * taeil did smth and now johnny’s a boss?
      * his own one no less?
      * he has no clue why taeil thought this was a good idea but god bless him
      * johnny loves the entrepreneurs that come to him with their ideas



 

  * **taeyong**


  * temperature



 

      * nct’s unofficial air conditioner and heater
      * dorm reaches -10 when he’s annoyed
      * they’re all afraid of him
      * he set lucas on fire once
      * doyoung still tells him off for that
      * he’s like
      * a third generation chaebol
      * he inherited the company and simple as that
      * deals with makeup and accessories
      * trust him to gift everyone either a really expensive watch or jewelry from some rare stone
      * he’s spoiled rotten
      * so he spoils nct rotten
      * especially the dreamies
      * taewin power duo



 

  * **yuta**


  * hypnosis



 

      * cheeky little shit
      * worse than haechan
      * someone stop -- wait what are we doing here again?
      * kinda was taken in by taeil, not from the best background
      * he doesn't mind though
      * he’s got his family with him and that’s all that matters
      * even if the dreamies do piss him off at times
      * works as the personal lawyer of the money maker trio along with kun



 

  * **kun**


  * telepathy



 

      * He Knows All
      * dreamies planning to sneak out? he knows
      * lying? don’t bother
      * don’t bother playing any card game with him either
      * accidentally scares the others bc he forgets that he can _actually move his mouth to speak_
      * total sweetheart
      * keeps tabs on people by listening out for their thoughts
      * the dreamies are as loud thinkers as they are loud speakers
      * aka listening to the dreamies’ minds is not the best idea and always results in a headache



 

  * **doyoung**



 

      * _telekinesis_
      * handy power but can he not levitate the entire kitchen while cooking? kun’s heart can’t hold on for much longer
      * hanging a kid upside down via levitation is a good way to get them to actually listen to you when they’re in trouble, apparently
      * the dreamies are his babies
      * jeno especially
      * at one point chenle had the nerve to call him their nanny
      * that was chenle’s turn to be thrown into the living room wall



 

  * **ten**


  * speed



 

      * errand boy
      * haechan’s especially
      * poor kid doesn’t have the heart to plug his ears
      * probably owns a multi-media store
      * smth small probably but
      * it’s his pride and joy



 

  * **jaehyun**



 

      * _clairvoyance_
      * can see the most possible outcome for the next hour
      * this also means that whoever sneaking out has to get him on their side
      * “hyung what are the chances of me getting a good grade on my exam?”
      * they tend to forget that it’s limited to an hour & shows the most possible outcome
      * the dreamies are headaches on their own, and jaehyun has to deal with their constant questions
      * He Doesn't Know Probability 
      * he hated the topic
      * why do the kids pester him
      * chenle’s nice though
      * and he thanks his clairvoyant abilities because he knows if chenle’s gonna go alarm clock randomly
      * or if he’s gonna get hurt
      * tbh jaehyun just lets the kids sneak out unless something’s supposed to happen to chenle
      * then everyone’s staying at home
      * and sleeping in super security rooms
      * with jaehyun watching over them
      * keeps an extra eye out for taeyong
      * he’d like inside to be cold when it was scorching outside
      * not when it’s already piss freezing outside
      * he’s smitten



 

  * **winwin**


  * weather



 

      * “hyungggggg can you make it snow in my room”
      * elsa but with tropical powers too
      * usually knocks lucas off his ass with one gust of wind
      * he does everything with wind
      * it’s his trusty weather
      * it used to be snow
      * but frozen + the dreamies quickly ruined it
      * especially lucas and chenle
      * he just sticks to taeyong
      * the dreamies are scared of him
      * i mean taeyong did set lucas’ shirt on fire at one point
      * moral of the story : no one messes with taeyong so winwin uses him as a shield
      * taewin power duo.



 

  * **jungwoo**


  * healing



 

      * thank god tbh
      * jisung’s weeping willow & chenle? not the best of friends
      * the dreamies + johnny in general? total chaos
      * nct would’ve been dead without him and taeil lbr



 

  * **lucas**


  * mimicry



 

      * is this the bad guy on the phone or is it lucas
      * it’s 90% of the time lucas
      * mimicked his teachers alot ( got in trouble with chenle for it )
      * chenhei power duo
      * these two are unstoppable
      * one sounds like doyoung, the other mutes the actual doyoung
      * next thing you know, yukhei is thrown at the wall of the living room from the other room



 

  * **mark**


  * endurance



 

      * he doesn't know if he needs his endurance for the battlefield or for living with these messes
      * highkey to deal with nct
      * doyoung wishes he had mark's power because dear god he needs it with the pranksters around
      * he met taeyong while he was running away from whoever was out to get him
      * poor kid was covered in god knows what and had been running for a good while 
      * then he rammed into taeyong
      * taeyong in casual clothes, on a morning jog / stroll / whatever you wanna call it
      * huh? what? this kid just ran into him what
      * taeyong grabs him by the arm?
      * and they run
      * taeil looks scary at first? maybe?
      * probs because mark trusts like, no one, and taeyong more or so less dragged him here
      * he’s mainly scared because he doesn’t want to go back and get beat up again
      * he might have endurance but getting beat up is taxing



 

  * **renjun**


  * illusions



 

      * poor renjun has to always conjure illusions of the dreamies when they sneak out
      * somehow it still fools doyoung, but not really everyone else
      * everyone wants renjun on their team for decorating HQ on halloween
      * he’s probably driven someone mad
      * especially if he accidentally creates illusions of his dreams while he’s asleep
      * doyoung already worries enough
      * renjun’s illusions make it worse
      * he’s the one who hooked up like
      * half the team
      * his illusions are no joke
      * he’s whipped for jaemin tbh
      * he ran away from home at a young age
      * he really didn’t know what he did wrong but everyone just avoided him
      * his parents would be really quiet
      * no one would acknowledge his existence
      * heartbroken the poor kid ran away during a visit to korea
      * funny how his parents always bought him a ticket but never even looked in his direction
      * he managed to live all on his own for a few months 
      * until he started to stumble across the other dreamies



 

  * **jeno**


  * teleportation



 

      * who needs a plane when you have jeno ( don’t tell johnny )
      * legit all the transportation they have at HQ is just decor ( not to johnny )
      * everyone uses jeno to travel
      * though uh
      * jaemin needs to know that the sun isn't a good place to travel to, per say
      * his parents were normal, for the most part
      * they cared for him
      * until they abandoned him on his sixteenth birthday
      * he disappeared and jaemin followed him, leaving behind his own family 
      * all for jeno, the one who was more of a part of his family than his real one
      * they stumbled across renjun during a walk into the woods
      * there were streamers everywhere
      * and in the middle of a clearing was a kid crying his eyes out
      * turns out everything’s an illusion & he’s more or so less an orphan like them both



 

  * **haechan**


  * charmspeak



 

      * he likes bossing his hyungs around
      * useless when he’s up against chenle through 
      * probably a whiny baby
      * used by the hyungs to order ten around for errands
      * everyone wears earplugs around him at one point
      * mark can't bear to though
      * he’s got stamina so, hell if shit goes to worst
      * definitely poor judgement 
      * neither can ten
      * but haechan likes him
      * mainly because ten’s readily available to get him his favourite sweets
      * probably the only reason why he’d actually use his charmspeak on him besides for his hyungs
      * not that he’s lazy
      * but uh
      * belgian chocolate tastes better if it’s from belgium itself
      * he had moved with his parents to a different country
      * he despised it there and begged to go back
      * ended up being sent to his grandmother
      * who could barely go around her daily life
      * much less look after her grandson
      * so he mostly raised himself
    * **jaemin**



 

  * _light_



 

      * nct’s unofficial flashlight
      * if one more person asks him if he can make his eyes glow he will shrivel on the spot
      * interested in fire
      * he wants to control it
      * shouldn’t he be able to control it????
      * it does give off light after all
      * taeil has to stop him from sneaking into the lab and mixing whatever just to create a mini explosion that could be toxic to his health
      * “could” bc taeil has no idea what jaemin actually mixes together until he does inventory check 
      * kid is damn good at cleaning up after himself



 

  * **chenle**


  * sound



 

      * nct’s unofficial emergency siren, alarm clock & mute button
      * mutes haechan the most
      * got into a lot of trouble with lucas with the school ( & doyoung ) for using their powers
      * epic dj i guess
      * he _does_ control sound
      * helps around with ten in his store
      * when he’s free
      * or trying to escape chores ( and doyoung )
      * chenhei destruction duo



 

  * **jisung**


  * nature



 

    * garden boy
    * all the greenery around HQ? jisung’s pride and joy
    * has an actual willow sapling in his room
    * it  turns into the weeping willow from HP when he’s annoyed
    * he loves reading
    * but he hates books
    * “poor trees!!”
    * johnny ended up getting him a kindle
    * he loves it




	2. 0.1 ; hellfire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoot okay, really heavy trigger warnings for death, gun violence, blood, and panic attacks. there's also brief mentions of medicine? like, the medical field?

━

 

the floor harshly collided with his head, his heart hoping for some way for the tears to begin flowing. the gunshot that reverberated through the mansion had sent everyone reeling and rushing into the kitchen where doyoung had slammed unceremoniously onto the floor with a loud thud. blood incessantly flowed from a well-placed bullet wound to the side, dangerously close to his heart and lungs, seemingly wedged into the minuscule space that separated both organs.

 

a guttural scream of anguish bloomed in his chest upon the first glance of the bloodied front of his hyung, the hyung that nagged them all like a mother, the one who made sure everyone learned their lesson from doing something stupid, the backbone of the _family_. he dropped onto the floor, ragdoll limp, the loud panic in the room unbearably heavy for his heart. supposed tears stung his eyes as his throat constricted, leaving him to gasp for air painfully, his cheeks remaining painfully dry. everyone was rushing around, trying to peel away the bloodied apron and sweater from his hyung’s lifeless form.

 

his heart tightened, a muted scream ripping through him. He didn’t want to think or even fathom that he lost his doyoung hyung. where was jungwoo hyung, taeil hyung? weren’t they supposed to be here, taking care of this mess? who was even in the room? pain bloomed in his chest, the feeling sticky against his chest as his hyung laid dying in his own crimson blood. his stomach and heart lurched as eyelids ripped open stubbornly. red blood thickly coated the wood-paneled floor that taeyong hyung _insisted_ on keeping immaculate every moment of the day.

 

he had no idea on why he was thinking of the cleanliness of the house, no, mansion when his doyoung hyung was fighting for his life. dread and adrenaline fueled his veins, the feeling of freezing ice suffocating his fiery body.  there was the chance that the bullet was poisoned, that it was made solely to make the staunching of the wound impossible.

 

It couldn’t happen, no, he couldn’t lose his hyung, he just couldn’t; he refused to believe the possibility even slightly. eyes screwed tightly shut as the commotion carried on, ears straining to absorb the surrounding noise. there was running, a lot of it. _moving doyoung after so much time would just decrease his chances of survival_ , jungwoo hyung and taeil hyung resorting to yell at everyone for supplies. he painfully wondered what took them so long to heal him, to patch up his hyung before ruefully remembering the bullet; it had to be removed before any skin could be knit together before any healing could take place. so much time had passed, he feared the bullet, what if it was enchanted to make extraction from its victim impossible?

 

his thoughts had become a jumbled mess of jargon as footsteps resonated throughout the room, around him, suffocatingly loud. chenle could faintly hear the soft hissing sound of jeno’s teleportation; the ragged breathing of everyone surrounding him. it was pure irony, when he could control sound and was comfortable the most in a noisy environment, that the noise was suffocating, the room feeling overbearing. he couldn’t breathe properly, and every breath he managed to puff into his lungs burnt his eyes and escaped as a gruesome sob as tears finally broke through, dripping uniformly onto the floor along with the blood that he couldn’t bear to see.

 

chenle just wanted everything to stop, he wanted everything back to normal, back to what was happening before the gunshot that shot not only their precious doyoung but them all. none of them would forgive himself if his doyoung hyung died tonight.

 

he just wants his hyung to yell at him, to scold him for messing with the pitch of everyone’s voices. the fragile boy never thought that he’d be begging to get scolded, but here he was, simply wanting to hear his hyung’s voice. lucas could always imitate it, right? would it feel the same? he could always tune his hearing to hear if his hyung’s heart was still beating. chenle feared it, what if he heard his hyung’s heart giving its last few struggles and failing?

 

another scream ripped through him, merciful silence suffocating him at once. with his eyes tightly shut and form curved into a tight ball, he surrendered to the voices safely secluded in his head, desperately trying to remember the tone he’d get scolded with, the tone that congratulated him when he overcame struggles. he struggled to remember every hitch in his hyung’s voice, the squeaks he’d let out after hearing kun’s over exaggerated gasp at the state of the kitchen ━ pots and pans decorating the air.

 

the plethora of noise that escaped his lips, a sob, a shriek of despair, all fell deaf to his ears as tears streamed down his face, two powerful rivers that seemed to have no end. the floor seemed to shake, and he wondered if there was an earthquake. he wished for the ground to simply swallow him off the face of the earth. he always got annoyed at his hyung’s antics, his nagging, the fact that he was just like a nagging grandmother, but now? hindsight’s a bitch, really. time passed by as he probably cried his throat raw, sobs hiccuping through his chest, his body slamming onto the floor from the force.

 

the feeling of weightlessness overcame him as a pair of arms comfortingly cradled him to a smooth chest. another sob escaping his lips, his body tightly curled against the hyung that had picked him up, probably staining his shirt with the surplus of tears that showed no signs of ceasing.

 

the lack of sight and sound heightened the feeling of delicate hands carding through his hair, applying the slightest pressure to calm the distraught boy. his hyung’s chin was placed on the crown of his head as one of his hands ran up and down chenle’s head, sometimes swiping over his shaking shoulder.

 

the feather-like kiss planted on his forehead finally persuaded him to open his eyes and detach himself from his hyung and get a look at who had comforted him when he needed it. arriving face-to-face with the sympathetic smile of his jaehyun hyung, chenle buried his face in the soft material of his shirt once more and muttered a broken _thank you hyung_.

 

jaehyun softly let him down, holding his shaky frame steady as chenle mostly stumbled to his door. he had no idea when jaehyun had managed to carry him to his room without him noticing, but then again, he was a bit too preoccupied and distraught over his doyoung hyung.

 

_doyong hyung_

 

he whirled around in panic, ready to storm back into the kitchen when jisung pulled him into his warm embrace. _hyung’s okay, don’t worry lele-hyung. they managed to get the bullet out and jungwoo hyung managed to get his vital signs stable enough. he’s alright._

 

comfort radiated off of jisung in waves, and chenle finally felt the heavyweight from crying fall on his shoulders, his knees buckling underneath him as the last bit of adrenaline left his body. Jisung was there, however, to hold him up, stopping the elder from crashing onto the floor for the second time that night.

 

“let’s get you to bed hyung, you look like you could use some rest,” the answer he received was a half-hearted mumble of _yeah_ as chenle’s eyelids drooped, swollen from crying. he was trudged into the familiar room, groggily stretching open his eyes to look around renjun’s room. the rest of nct ‘dream’ warmly greeted him, allowing chenle a semblance of comfort.

 

it was clear that the bullet had scared them all, issuing the _safety in numbers_ principle. they’d take turns to watch, he supposed, as they shifted around, finding home on the carpeted floor a few moments later, sitting in a circle. mark had disappeared, presumably after the perpetrator, though chenle was confused as to how they would actually catch their prey in pitch dark.

 

chenle liked renjun’s room, it was quiet and comforting, reminding him of home and all things nice. as a master of illusion, renjun’s room swapped styles fairly often, ranging from earthly hues of emerald and bark to pastel rainbow tones. it always amazed chenle and he would beg renjun to watch him work on the illusions, changing the position of the bed, the color of the carpets that decorated the wood-paneled floor; though his favourite version of the room would be its original, a very sleek and modern area, a workspace of sorts, with a darkly lacquered desk tucked away into a corner of the room.

 

sleep coating his vision, he struggled to grasp onto the changes in the room. if he had been slightly more awake, he would’ve realised the crystals hanging from the ceiling, the fairy lights, soft flowery perfume decorating the room in its coquettish tones. instead of recognising change, he gently pressed his head against one of jisung’s thighs, staring at jaemin who too was sprawled across the floor, his head gently cradled by his pillow. chenle watched as jeno brushed away a part of jaemin’s hair, causing the younger to huff in mocked annoyance. the tips of jaemin’s hair glowed mutely, adding to the angelic appearance everyone seemed to associate him with.

 

comfortable silence lulled the room as renjun passed bottles of water around, haechan gingerly clasping a box to his chest. chenle focused on jaemin, who was eyeing him intently, a soft expression painted upon his features, giving him the aura of serenity, especially when coupled with the glowing ends of his hair.

 

it was no wonder that renjun’s room had been chosen for the dreamies to camp out in during the night; it was the room closest to their infirmary, assuring the safety of the dreamies if another disaster was to befall them ━ god forbid, johnny aadded. worries about his doyoung hyung flooded chenle’s mind once more, the young boy admitting defeat as he tightly shut his eyes, flinching into a ball instantaneously. jisung’s fingers began to card through his hair, gently reminding him that he wasn’t alone, that everyone was here for him, and it was entirely okay for him to feel worried and that it was natural. finding comfort in the featherly touch, a hum of affirmation bubbled in his chest. feeling jisung play with his hair, messing the dyed strands until he looked like he ran through a car wash erupted a feeling of giddiness in his heart and eased his mind from all troubles as he solely focused on one thing, the feeling of jisung’s hands in his hair.

 

letting his eyes fall lax, sleep welcomed him with warm arms, only to be rudely interrupted by renjun tapping chenle’s shoulder, a pack of crackers and chenle’s unopened bottle of water in hand.

 

 _eat,_ he urged the younger, slightly moving the food in his hand closer to chenle’s face to prove his point. he only rose when jisung had edged his head upwards, immediately finding purchase in the crook of his neck, his eyes fluttering shut once again. jisung had poked his cheek, gently pressing the top of the water bottle to chenle’s chapped lips. up until jisung’s considerate action, chenle hadn’t noticed the sandpaper like feeling at the back of his throat, greedily accepting the water, finishing the bottle in a few considerable gulps.

 

once more jisung had to press food to his lips, chenle biting into the first cracker, giving up halfway through his second one, his head becoming too heavy for him to keep supported by both jisung’s and his shoulders. sleep finally overcame the final boundary keeping him awake as chenle drifted off to his dreams, picking up on dialogue before he fully succumbed to the welcoming warmth of sleep.

 

 _he definitely needs to have to have a lot more in the morning, a bottle of water and one cracker and a half won’t cut it, especially not after we’ve skipped dinner._   ━ _yes hyung._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on twitter @/myeonsweetie


	3. 0.2 ; calm before the storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> titles have nothing to do with chapter contents im just unoriginal
> 
> slight trigger warnings from the first chapter and bad coping habits skip the first italicised section
> 
> unbeta ed as usual

morning brokenly filtered through tightly shut blinds, rogue sunlight blinding against the near pitch-dark of renjun's room, the only other source of light being the muted glow of jaemin's hair. the antique clock on renjun's desk, weathered against the ravages of time and a gift from chenle's family manor, stood proudly, ticking down to nine in the morning. hushed murmurs and the scuffling of feet on paneled floor failed to reach the room, chenle’s influence steering unwanted noise away. he was aware of what was going on outside of the room, having been a part of the morning activities. under normal circumstances, they were all up by now, though their current predicament was wholly abnormal. the younger ones had been allowed to sleep in, something that would’ve blown a fuse, especially on a school day; though jaemin was sure that school wasn’t to be a destination today.

 

the caramel haired boy gently rested his head against jeno’s chest, trying to commit the state of the room to memory. he had noticed the slight changes the previous night, awed by how renjun took the time and made an effort to make his room comfortable, even if by a little, for the others. crystals dangled from the ceiling for dear jeno, flower pots of succulents lining the windows for jisung - thank god not the damn sapling jisung kept in his room - soft classical background noise for chenle, donghyuck’s favourite perfume coloring the air in sweet undertones, and for jaemin, darling renjun had decorated with fairy lights.

 

jaemin’s gaze lingered at the pots of succulents, their appearance vaguely reminding him of the godforsaken ‘tree’ from hell that jisung had planted last year, only to shrink it - jaemin still doesn't know how that was  _ possible _ \- and replant it as a houseplant after a nasty incident including jaemin’s spine. jisung had sulked for days on end, but there was no ignoring the fact that jaemin had quite literally flown into the arms of mark via devil tree branches. the memory brought on a dull ache at the base of his neck, causing him to snicker slightly against jeno’s chest. he resumed looking around the room, fingers fiddling with the cord of his hoodie. 

 

the forms of the others brought a pang to his chest, left him feeling warm with a slight tinge of ice down his spine. chenle’s features had smoothed out, leaving an angelic and youthful appearance behind. the night had been rough, leaving all of them shaken to the core. jaemin’s heart pained at the sight of the two youngest in their family. chenle and jisung were entangled within the arms of one another, chenle grasping onto jisung like he was dying and jisung was his saviour. jisung in turn, had his lanky arms wrapped around chenle’s frame, holding him desperately close, as if he was afraid that the second he let go chenle would unravel, leaving him behind. they were both so young and had already seen so much. jaemin felt like crying for their lost youth. instinctively, he edged closer to jeno, pressing his back flat against a familiar chest, arms encircling his torso as jeno buried his face in the juncture of jaemin’s shoulder.

 

looking at renjun and donghyuck brought another wave of pain to his heart, both seemed to be sleeping soundly, the only give away to their troubled minds being the scrunch of their features. renjun was the eldest in their group, right after mark. when mark was gone or had a job to fulfill, renjun was there, keeping them together, keeping them connected to their hyungs. renjun had his last year of school to worry about, they all did, except for chenle and jisung. jaemin and jeno stayed behind a year, jaemin due to his spine and jeno because he wasn’t going to leave jaemin alone. renjun had almost stayed back a year as well, though one good kick from jeno and talk from yuta later had him skipping to school the very next day. the memory would have settled well in his chest if it hadn't been the reason for the rift between the two boys, jaemin a complete stranger to the new material that wore renjun down. responsibility had piled upon responsibility, leaving most of renjun’s nights uneasy and sleepless, the wear showing on his face, contrast stark across his pretty face. donghyuck was no different, his own features contorted. he couldn't seem to sleep peacefully whenever mark was gone, thrashing wildly in his nightmares.

 

“ you’re thinking too loud for the morning, i can feel the uneasiness radiating off of you nana, ” he pursed his lips, answering him with a disinterested glare at the floor, unable to crane his neck to meet jeno’s eyes.

 

“ renjun’s frowning and i was thinking if i should smooth his face out or not, brat. ” he stuck his tongue out as his eyes darted to the clock once more.  _ nine - ten in the morning.  _ “ get donghyuck up, i want breakfast, ”

 

getting up, jaemin gazed at renjun’s sleeping form, the way his brows creased at whatever caused his fitful sleep. poking his cheek lightly, jaemin tried to rouse the sleeping boy, finally giving the brunette’s hair a sharp yank, followed by hissed mutters of  _  fuck, shit, asshole  _ and  _ why _ , causing jaemin to sweetly giggle at him, pulling him up by the arm, not letting the brunet adjust to the headrush from suddenly springing upwards. jeno had already roused donghyuck with a push off the bed, the latter spewing curses as he held his side, suspiciously eyeing jaemin and renjun, who both simply shrugged, grabbing their phones.

 

renjun’s room was not far from the kitchen, being one of the only two rooms on the ground floor. taeil and johnny were sitting at the table, which was covered in papers with bold headers of  _ Neo Culture _ and  _ Neo Culture : Technology _ , the duo’s multinational businesses, typing away at their laptops, peering at the papers occasionally. taeil had smiled at them as soon as he saw them, placing his mug of coffee on the desk to motion at the refrigerator. he looked worse for wear than he had the night before, trying to take care of doyoung in the infirmary. 

 

jaemin hated the infirmary, despite not having to spend much time there. it was warmly colored and the beds comfortable, fully furnished with a tv and its own kitchenette, but what scared jaemin was the multitude of tech johnny had installed. during his recovery from his slipped disc, renjun had taken a field day to explain what everything did, having become johnny’s little protege. jaemin had been way more interested in how animatedly renjun explained it all, rather than the medical equipment that looked like torture devices. the conversation had carried on until jaemin had fallen asleep, hair glowing, renjun’s beating heart keeping his thoughts company.

 

“ pancakes in the fridge, heat them up and then take them upstairs, keep your phones on you at all times and - ”

 

“ for the love of god don’t go out of the house. we’re trying to see what we can do about this, injun, i'm gonna need you today, ”

 

taeil looked annoyed at being interrupted, giving johnny a look of distaste as the latter redirected his attention to the papers. jaemin could see renjun nod meekly in reply, donghyuck already sliding towards the fridge. taeyong usually cooked for them and missing his glorious pancakes might just as well be a criminal offense. just thinking of the breakfast staple made jaemin’s mouth water as he skipped the two step distance to grab a pancake from the large stack on the plate that donghyuck held cautiously with both hands, earning a cry of indignance from the latter.

 

renjun, ever their eldest, had bolted to the pantry, grabbing the  _ one _ fancy ass tray cart they owned, placing whatever they’d need on the cart. if it weren’t for his messy hair and unruly pyjamas, jaemin would've thought renjun was straight out of a hotel drama; using the cart as protection when all hell broke loose in the hotel. he chuckled softly before falling silent, memories of the night before flooding his mind.

 

_ time had slowed to a standstill when the gunshot sounded; jaemin had been stunned, unable to move a muscle. he had been at the entrance of the kitchen when the gunshot happened, his heart racing a thousand miles per hour. fear flooded his veins at how he had been on the brink of dying, pulse dropping at the realisation of how his life could have ended at that very moment as well. chenle had bolted into the kitchen at the sound, only for his knees to freeze, leaving him stumbling and ultimately collapsing. renjun had accidentally slammed into jaemin, his hair a mess from working in johnny’s workshop. it took the elder a total of four seconds to sober up and grab jaemin by the collar, yelling for his hyungs to help. jaemin let himself be dragged to wherever renjun was taking him to, mind unable to process anything. out of the corner of his eye, he could see jeno materialising only to disappear once more. _

 

_ he watched as renjun charmed his room, delicate crystals appearing on the ceiling. jaemin knew it was merely an illusion but seeing renjun so concentrated to make sure he feels at home made him happy. jeno had materialised in front of them not long after renjun had brought jaemin to his room, engulfing jaemin in a tight hug immediately, reaching out for renjun a moment later to crush him in the hug as well. sandwiched between renjun and jaemin, his heartbeat had slowly calmed down from its erratic pace, his hair beginning to glow; he felt safe and content. _

 

_ donghyuck had snuck into the room, a large box clutched to his chest, his infamous stash of junk food. it was obvious that they as a group were shaken up, with various ways to express their distress: donghyuck would binge eat under stress, stuffing himself with the nearest form of sustenance until he felt better, jeno would take himself away, materialising to a completely different location to return home and sob into jaemin’s shoulder, chenle would be sobbing under the crushing weight of a panic attack, jisung crushing dead bark under his fingers. renjun would pull apart everything, rearranging his room by hand and jaemin would pick at his skin, choosing to suffer silently rather than make the others worry. _

 

a sharp poke from renjun brought him back to the present, the morning after. everyone had stopped whatever they were doing and stared at jaemin with various emotions: curiosity, surprise, and most importantly, concern. he sent a quizzical look at johnny who pointed to jaemin’s head, causing him to sigh as he shook his hair into his eyes, unfazed as he watched the black strands lightening by the second. he was too familiar with the sensation, and so were johnny and taeil. jaemin had attempted to explain the color to jeno and renjun, both still quite puzzled on how his hair actually turned pitch black, despite witnessing the shift many times prior.

 

_ taeil had sat him down ( technically jaemin was lying on his bed and taeil was the one who had sat down ) during one of his check ups for his back in the infirmary for a long talk about his powers, specifically his hair. truth be told, jaemin himself didn't know exactly what his powers did and why they did it. all he knew was that his hair changed shades of brown depending on his current emotions, with limited sensitivity. his original hair color was a soft chestnut brown, and would lighten to a caramel hue when he felt content and safe, turning pitch black when he was in pain, despair, and panic. at first, they had classified his hair as color changing, only to discover one fateful dead of night that his hair was, in fact, emitting light. jaemin had sneaked out, returning around four am to be greeted by the sharp screech ( ? ) of taeil, staring at his head with wide eyes. _

 

“your hair did the thing again,”

 

“whoops?”

 

that was the end of the conversation, donghyuck’s slim fingers clasped around his wrist dragging jaemin out of there, leaving renjun and jeno to navigate the cart behind them. with that, the day slowly took a systematic turn: once he had returned to his senses, donghyuck was already gone, the stomping of his feet sounding father and farther away a tell tale sign that he was racing jaemin to the game room.

 

their game room was probably straight out of a movie, courtesy of johnny ingenuity and ten’s taste in architecture. the room was bland by itself, the light grey walls cooly complementing the lush black carpet. three large monitors spanned one wall, several consoles tucked away in the cabinet underneath, controllers of already connected consoles placed on the coffee table surrounded by a large couch that is able to fit all eighteen of them comfortably. there was another mini kitchen ( do they really need three? ), a long dining table separating the counters from the rest of the room. being on the highest floor, the game room was also connected to the terrace, jaemin’s go to place for stargazing.

 

by the time both of them had reached the game room, their faces had turned pink, leaving them to gasp for air. it wasn’t that they weren’t fit, they had a tendency to shove each other into the walls, that’s all. renjun and jeno stared at them with a look of resignation, renjun returning to slathering nutella over his pancakes. with a final shove from jaemin, they grabbed their own plates, stacking up pancakes.

 

_ lee taeyong’s pancakes were heaven sent and na jaemin won’t accept any objections. _

 

the quartet slowly drifted off into routine over sugar coated pancakes, donghyuck’s mouth stuffed with one of his maple syrup drenched pancake rolls as he mashed the buttons on his controller, dangerously close to kicking jeno and his powder sugared mouth. jaemin absent-mindedly chewed on his rolled up pancakes, all focus trained on his phone held precariously above his face with one hand, candy crush open. the room was chaos in every sense, yet brought forth a sense of comfort as time went by.

renjun had savoured his first few pancakes in silence, watching donghyuck and jeno surge forward for their controllers, jaemin dropping onto the couch with a thud. he rolled his eyes at donghyuck’s antics, opting to grab a glass of whatever they had in the fridge, he wasn’t too picky.

 

his drink turned out to be orange juice, not that he was complaining.

 

he pulled out his phone, staring at his wallpaper, a picture of his favourite polaroids, not remembering to look at the time before the display turned dark once more. sighing at his distracted state of mind, he pressed the power button once more. 

 

ten - fifty.

 

an inexplicable itch settled in his gut as renjun fidgeted with his phone. he couldn’t sit idly, wasting time. jaemin had lost interest in the god forsaken game, opting to watch jeno and donghyuck bicker back and forth. they looked like a normal group of teenagers if renjun has seen any.

 

frustration gnawing at his mind, he excused himself, aiming to at least tinker with johnny in the lab.

 

turns out johnny didn’t need help for quite a while, not until mark returned at least.

 

it took renjun another half hour to leave the lab, upon the insistence of johnny, to wake up the two youngest and to get them to eat something. he was reluctant, finding comfort in the cool steel, the fluorescent lights, the controlled environment. renjun liked control, he felt useless otherwise. he enjoyed having one constant that he could manipulate at will, it made him feel like less of a failure.

 

failure scared him. it was his driving force: to not fail.

 

he buried himself into mountains of his studies, taking the utmost care to stay on top of everyone and their expectations. his hyungs did everything for him to feel safe, to have an environment he could recollect his thoughts in, a place to breathe, to call home. they cared for him and this was the only way he knew how to repay them.

 

he mindlessly walked through long corridors, destination in mind, the way not. renjun loved the place they called home, having decorated most of it in a minimalistic aesthetic with miniscule additions from everyone to create the perfect equilibrium they all needed in their lives.

 

renjun walked into his  _ door _ by accident, the harsh smack causing him to hiss and stumble backward.

 

he shook himself out of his stupor, hand rubbing at his forehead.  _ he really was out of it, huh? _

 

chenle and jisung hadn’t moved from their initial position, still tightly wrapped in each others’ embrace, and renjun felt the urge to take a picture of their cuteness, deciding against it as jisung started to stir in his sleep.

 

silently he crept into the room, reaching out for his notebooks and textbooks that were strewn across his table, to be greeted with chenle’s intense gaze boring into his back. the younger’s eyes, clouded with sleep and dull pain froze renjun’s veins as he heard a soft “ _ good morning _ “ escape his lips, the greeting being returned by the younger in an equally hushed murmur, chenle’s eyes refocusing on jisung’s still form. a chuckle bubbled in rejun’s chest as he shook his head at the two youngest, scanning the mess on his table in an attempt to locate his list of soon due assignments.

 

it takes more than a few minutes and soft rustling to find the once crisp sheet of paper - now a crumpled mess - under the mountainous pile of open books scattered and strewn across his desk, notebooks flipped to seemingly irrelevant pages, flashcards littering the remaining free space of the dark wood, and when renjun finally finds the accursed sheet, he doesn’t flinch as he lets out exemplatives that would make everyone in the mansion drown his mouth in various brands of soap and holy water. he hears his voice halt completely and turns to face chenle, whose eyes are as wide as saucers.

 

with a dismissing shake of renjun’s head, the pressure on his voice dissipates and he can speak again. with a soft hiss of irritation, he begins to tidy up his desk, stacking notebooks and books above each other according to subject, flipping through the leaves to stick flashcards into notebooks according to their topics. chenle watches him silently as he works on tidying up his desk, mumbling under his breath about how his handwriting looked horrible on some flashcards that he had obviously prepared when deathly tired. every once in a while, renjun would look over his shoulder at chenle, the younger’s gaze never leaving his moving arms, seemingly trying to commit his every move to memory.

 

an hour later, renjun was practically dragging two nagging teenagers up the stairs, book bag slung across one shoulder. after having sorted out his school supplies and packed his book bag with the lessons that had assignments due, he had gotten chenle to wake up jisung, the younger poking jisung’s cheek softly, mumbling “  _ get up sungie  _ ” every time his finger made contact with the soft skin of jisung’s cheek, leaving renjun to wonder how jisung could still be asleep and not ready to murder chenle.

 

it had been more than an hour since he had left the game room in the first place, the scene a mirror image except for jeno and hyuck’s positions on the couch, jaemin fast asleep on one end, his hand holding his phone placed across his torso. the scene felt so familiar yet so foreign as renjun placed his book bag on the dining table, motioning with his head for chenle and jisung to grab the remaining pancakes as a very late and overdue breakfast.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't wanna drag out the chapter too much so i cut off the last bit of it and will try to upload that part soon
> 
> how the day after is progressing is kind of how the day after my uncle's death went ?? i don't remember it clearly besides the heartache but otherwise everything stayed the same for me, not sure about my parents / the adults.
> 
> basically, the kids are being kept away from the whole situation if you get what i mean? ah im rambling
> 
> hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/jaehyunum) and [tumblr](https://jaeminim.tumblr.com)  
> and send me stuff on [cc](https://curiouscat.me/jaeminim)


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